Captain Theodore (Ted) Kershaw McCarley, USN (RET)
June 24, 1940- September 5, 2020
Captain Ted McCarley, USN (Ret) (80) passed quietly in his sleep at home in Solomons, MD on 5 September 2020. Born in Charleston, SC on 24 June 1940, he was the son of the late Rear Admiral Henry Harris McCarley and the late Marion (MacMillan) McCarley.
Ted received his Bachelor’s Degree Summa Cum Laude from Chaminade University of Hawaii in 1984. He graduated from the National War College in June 1990. Ted was a Naval Officer serving forty three years active duty supporting Explosive Ordnance Disposal (EOD). From Seaman to Captain, Master Blaster, diver, parachutist, and a mentor to many over the years, not even dementia could cast a pall on Ted’s lifelong love affair with the Navy. He was a lifelong member of the Naval EOD Association (NEODA) and the Fleet Reserve Association (FRA Branch 24, Annapolis).
Known as a crackerjack boat mechanic, daredevil, marathoner, and memorable ass-chewer, he was also a beloved husband, lucky father, fun grandfather and great-grandfather that shared a love for adventure, tattoos, dolphins, and rollercoasters.
Fortunate to be able to live out his childhood dream of owning his own boat upon retirement, Ted loved cruising on his 44’ Defever trawler, M/V Aloha Friday. He and his wife wintered in the Bahamas, circumnavigated the eastern U.S. by water, and cruised maritime New England and Canada.
Ted is survived by his wife Nancy Shores McCarley; daughter, Debbie Kroupa (Mike) of Lagrange, OH; grandsons James Kroupa of Amherst, OH and Ryan Kroupa of Lagrange, OH; great-granddaughter, Adelynn Kroupa of Amherst, OH; son, Michael McCarley (Debbie) and grandson Jack McCarley all of Simpsonville, SC; son, Allen McCarley (Isabel) of Fredericksburg, VA; brother, Harris McCarley (Walta) of Redmond, WA; niece Cheryl Masters (Don) of Redmond, WA; nephew Hank McCarley (Kelly) of Fairhope, AL; sister, Marion McCarley of Seattle, WA; sister Margarette Curnutt (Dee) of Marysville, WA; nephew Jeff Curnutt (Heather) of Auburn, WA; brother, Jack McCarley of Tacoma, WA; sister-in-law Madeline Flynn (Joe) of Alexandria, VA; brother-in-law, David Shores of LaPlata, MD; niece Taelyr Celia (Anthony) of LaPlata, MD; nephew, Kurt Shores (TJ) of Silver Spring, MD; brother-in-law, Nick Pera of Alexandria, VA; and nephew, Nicholas Pera of Seattle, WA.
Burial at Arlington National Cemetery is being planned for a future date next year.
Memorials may be made to the EOD Warrior Foundation (716 Crestview Ave, Niceville, FL 32758), the Lewy Body Dementia Association (lbda.org), or the charity of your choice.
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Sort Comments
11 Sep 2020
3:34pm
Dear Nancy,
We cherish our many memories with you and Ted. Meeting up with you both on our 44’ Defever trawler were some of the best times. Then there was the RV life we both shared on Tiffin Motorhomes. You exemplified the marriage vows “for better or worse” in your compassionate, gracious care of Ted in the last few years. We look forward to seeing you in Florida this winter. Sending love, hugs and prayers.
Jane and Mike Ross
City
Kitty Hawk
State
NC
11 Sep 2020
4:45pm
Dear Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. May Ted Rest In Peace. All the best from Barbara (Mellin)
City
Simi Valley
State
California
11 Sep 2020
5:19pm
Nancy
We can not believe he is gone. We have such fond memories of our times together cruising on our boats, going to DeFever rendezvous, docking at your courtesy dock in Solomons, touring the War College with you and on and on. He was such a consummate gentleman. Now begins a new generation.
Joel and Marian Busse
City
the villages florida 32159
State
Fl
11 Sep 2020
6:14pm
Dear Nancy,
How blessed to have shared your life with such a wonderful man. Prayers for you and your family. Blessings and Peace.
City
Deale
State
Maryland
11 Sep 2020
6:17pm
Nancy
Paula and I wish to express our condolence on the loss of your beloved husband Ted. I served with Ted at the EOD facility in 1969-70. He was a good friend and mentor. Ted was instrumental in helping me achieve my goal of becoming a warrant officer.
We are glad that we had the opportunity to share some time with you and Ted at our last West Coast Navy EOD rendezvous in San Diego last year.
May his memory continue to be a blessing to all that knew him.
City
Virginia Beach
State
VA
11 Sep 2020
6:35pm
Nancy, our deepest sympathy for your loss. I know that the lack of his physical presence is heartbreaking, but we pray that you find comfort in the knowledge of how much he meant to thousands of people directly and who knows how many more indirectly. His life mattered and the work he did saved countless thousands of lives around the world. To Navy EOD, Ted was a generational change agent and leader of men. Someone who could draw a very clear straight line from so-so to excellence and knew how to motivate people to get to excellence. You were the love of his life. Your love motivated him. Ted will live on in the lives he touched. We hope to see you soon to give you a physical hug, but until then, we pray for peace and comfort in this time of great sorrow. Love, Brian and Kathleen Anderson
City
Alexandria
State
VA
7 Nov 2020
8:45pm
Thank you Brian and Kathleen. I wish this wasn’t so hard. I’m moving forward, grateful for the 40 wonderful years Ted gave me. Every year is chock full of memories that make me smile. Ted’s absence leaves a huge void in my life and an even bigger hole in my heart. Ted loved the Navy and he loved EOD. He gave us all his best. He made my world better! He was the love of my life.
Virtual hugs to you both until we meet again, love, Nancy
City
Solomons
State
MD
11 Sep 2020
9:15pm
Nancy, you and Ted have meant so much to us – so many happy days on the water together. We treasure every minute we’ve spent together. Reading about all of Ted’s many accomplishments reminds us how lucky we’ve been to enjoy his modest company. We’re so grateful that you came out to Alaska to spend time with us, and we could see your kind, gentle and patient care of Ted. Love is a beautiful thing, and you two certainly showed what it means all the time. We will miss our dear friend terribly, but we look forward to spending time with you and we stand ready to support you as you heal from your unthinkable loss.
City
Petersburg
State
AK
11 Sep 2020
11:55pm
Nancy, Mike and Family,
I am very sorry to learn of Commodore’s passing. I’d like to extend my most sincere condolences to you. We were not the kind of closeness that had us phone calling or keeping track, yet he had an impact on my professional career as great as anyone and more than most…even to this day. I made a mistake one time, unwittingly, and were it not for the Commodore’s intervention my career may have peaked and maybe ended prematurely. I will never forget this. He was hard on the wardroom, and mentor to the CPO’s Mess and a Sailor’s Sailor. Fair winds and following seas.
City
Ramona
State
California
12 Sep 2020
8:48am
Nancy,
I am so sorry for your sudden loss. Ted will really be missed. You did a wonderful job of taking care of him. You showed much kindness and caring to him at all times even when it was difficult
My prayers are with you both
Randi and Jim
City
Solomons
State
Md
12 Sep 2020
2:29pm
Dear Nancy,
I was deeply saddened at the passing of Ted, and extend my heartfelt condolences to you, your children, and your extended family. May the many wonderful times you shared be a source of solace to you now and continuing comfort in the future. Ted was the epitome of a Naval Officer and leader: professional, tough, disciplined, and fair…but always fun to be around when the occasion allowed. He was a superb mentor of three generations of EOD technicians and the example followed by many future EOD officers. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
John Shick, Captain, USN (Ret)
City
Virginia Beach
State
Virginia
12 Sep 2020
3:13pm
Dear Nancy — Our condolences for your loss with Ted’s passing. It is most admirable how you cared for Ted in his last days, months, and years of a debilitating decease. You were lucky to have each other in a beautiful loving marriage.
Ted and I were deployed to Vietnam before his EOD days. Ted was young in 1963, but already in his early Naval career, he exemplified great leadership qualities. Because he was very intelligent and a high-energy person, it was no wonder that he went on to such an outstanding Naval career serving his country for the greater good and for all of us. Thanks Ted for your many years of dedicated service to our United States. I salute you.
Ltjg James H. Abing, OIC STAT 0302
City
Ventura
State
CA
12 Sep 2020
5:14pm
We are saddened to hear of Ted’s passing. We enjoyed visiting with you at DeFever Cruisers events. Our prayers are with you at this time.
City
Apollo Beach
State
FL
12 Sep 2020
8:16pm
Nancy,
We were saddened to hear of Ted’s passing. We have fond memories of cruises that we attended with you. Ted just to be a boating “genius” to us and we so admired your zest for life!
May God hold you tightly to comfort you doing this time of loss and bring many happy memories to your mind of your time together this side of heaven.
Chuck and Sue Bartlett
City
Annapolis
State
MD
13 Sep 2020
9:03pm
Nancy,
So sorry to hear of your husband Ted’s passing. Your travels with him that you posted on Facebook seemed so wonderful and will hopefully bring you many smiles and precious memories through the years. May your heart be filled with comfort and peace. God bless you!
Eileen (Synowiec) Daniels
City
Jamestown
State
KY
13 Sep 2020
9:19pm
Nancy, Mike and family,
Please accept my deepest sympathy. Ted was my first CO and has always been a great leader and mentor to me and hundreds of other EOD technicians and Naval Officers. I was so blessed to have served under his command. He was demanding but fair and I personally know how truly good he was for the Navy EOD community. We are all saddened by your loss. Rest In Peace Commodore, My Greatest Respect, Ron Zitzman
City
Waldorf
State
MD
14 Sep 2020
1:57pm
Nancy,
I’m so sorry for your lost. Remember all the good times.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers
City
New Bern
State
NC
15 Sep 2020
12:24pm
Nancy,
I’m so sorry to hear of your husbands passing. May God bless you and your family.
Marcy (Ripple) Chaney
City
Huntingtown
State
MD
26 Oct 2020
3:49pm
Dear Captain McCarley’s Family & Friends,
First, let me apologize but a friend just sent this to me.
I am so sorry for your loss. I met Captain McCarley in the mid 90’s @ the EOD Technology Division as our Commanding Officer (CO). You see, our office had a grievance based on age discrimination however until our CO learned of this, it seemed it was to be a struggle. Capt McCarley did his research, interviewed several involved & felt that “where there was smoke, there was fire!”. He scheduled a meeting w/ALL employees except our supervisor and explained how we could not move forward until a resolution was achieved. Captain McCarley made the decision to remove our supervisor from ALL his responsibilities, thereby setting a clear vision for office wellness! We had endured tyranny for 7+ yrs but thanks to our CO, tyranny ended! Without your husband, father & friend who knows what would have happened. I’m retired 17 yrs now, but my CO continues being remembered for standing up for a small group of senior employees & making the right decision. I will always recall my CO fondly. Each of you have my Sincerest Sympathies ~ May God bless & comfort you
City
Indian Head
State
Maryland
6 Nov 2020
11:45am
Dee – Wow! thanks for sharing that story. That sounds like Ted all the way around!
Nancy
City
Solomons
State
MD
28 Oct 2020
3:37pm
Captain McCarley was one of the best commanders I got to work with and for. He was fair, he was dedicated, and a true professional. I knew him at the EOD Tech Center. He would come around the office after quitting time when a few of us were still around just to say Hi and see how things were going. He loved EOD. I miss him.
LtCol Alton Jones (USAF Ret)
City
LaPlata
State
Maryland
6 Nov 2020
11:49am
Thank you so much LtCol Jones – thank you for your kind words. Ted loved the Navy and he loved EOD. He would have stayed in forever if he could. It was 2 months yesterday and I still can’t believe he is gone.
City
Solomons
State
MD
8 Nov 2020
1:05pm
Nancy as you know Ted and I were friend’s from his early day, we served togather in MCB#3, while the Battalion was on Guam and as Team Mates on the second STAT Team to be sent to Vietnam. It was while we were in country that Ted decided to move on and move up. Could not have had a better friend, I still recall some of the stuff we did. He leaves a deep hole that cannot be filled in my heart. May he rest in peace and may god give you the grace to move forward.
City
Mesa
State
AZ
Sort Comments
Dear Nancy,
We cherish our many memories with you and Ted. Meeting up with you both on our 44’ Defever trawler were some of the best times. Then there was the RV life we both shared on Tiffin Motorhomes. You exemplified the marriage vows “for better or worse” in your compassionate, gracious care of Ted in the last few years. We look forward to seeing you in Florida this winter. Sending love, hugs and prayers.
Jane and Mike Ross
Dear Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. May Ted Rest In Peace. All the best from Barbara (Mellin)
Nancy
We can not believe he is gone. We have such fond memories of our times together cruising on our boats, going to DeFever rendezvous, docking at your courtesy dock in Solomons, touring the War College with you and on and on. He was such a consummate gentleman. Now begins a new generation.
Joel and Marian Busse
Dear Nancy,
How blessed to have shared your life with such a wonderful man. Prayers for you and your family. Blessings and Peace.
Nancy
Paula and I wish to express our condolence on the loss of your beloved husband Ted. I served with Ted at the EOD facility in 1969-70. He was a good friend and mentor. Ted was instrumental in helping me achieve my goal of becoming a warrant officer.
We are glad that we had the opportunity to share some time with you and Ted at our last West Coast Navy EOD rendezvous in San Diego last year.
May his memory continue to be a blessing to all that knew him.
Nancy, our deepest sympathy for your loss. I know that the lack of his physical presence is heartbreaking, but we pray that you find comfort in the knowledge of how much he meant to thousands of people directly and who knows how many more indirectly. His life mattered and the work he did saved countless thousands of lives around the world. To Navy EOD, Ted was a generational change agent and leader of men. Someone who could draw a very clear straight line from so-so to excellence and knew how to motivate people to get to excellence. You were the love of his life. Your love motivated him. Ted will live on in the lives he touched. We hope to see you soon to give you a physical hug, but until then, we pray for peace and comfort in this time of great sorrow. Love, Brian and Kathleen Anderson
Thank you Brian and Kathleen. I wish this wasn’t so hard. I’m moving forward, grateful for the 40 wonderful years Ted gave me. Every year is chock full of memories that make me smile. Ted’s absence leaves a huge void in my life and an even bigger hole in my heart. Ted loved the Navy and he loved EOD. He gave us all his best. He made my world better! He was the love of my life.
Virtual hugs to you both until we meet again, love, Nancy
Nancy, you and Ted have meant so much to us – so many happy days on the water together. We treasure every minute we’ve spent together. Reading about all of Ted’s many accomplishments reminds us how lucky we’ve been to enjoy his modest company. We’re so grateful that you came out to Alaska to spend time with us, and we could see your kind, gentle and patient care of Ted. Love is a beautiful thing, and you two certainly showed what it means all the time. We will miss our dear friend terribly, but we look forward to spending time with you and we stand ready to support you as you heal from your unthinkable loss.
Nancy, Mike and Family,
I am very sorry to learn of Commodore’s passing. I’d like to extend my most sincere condolences to you. We were not the kind of closeness that had us phone calling or keeping track, yet he had an impact on my professional career as great as anyone and more than most…even to this day. I made a mistake one time, unwittingly, and were it not for the Commodore’s intervention my career may have peaked and maybe ended prematurely. I will never forget this. He was hard on the wardroom, and mentor to the CPO’s Mess and a Sailor’s Sailor. Fair winds and following seas.
Nancy,
I am so sorry for your sudden loss. Ted will really be missed. You did a wonderful job of taking care of him. You showed much kindness and caring to him at all times even when it was difficult
My prayers are with you both
Randi and Jim
Dear Nancy,
I was deeply saddened at the passing of Ted, and extend my heartfelt condolences to you, your children, and your extended family. May the many wonderful times you shared be a source of solace to you now and continuing comfort in the future. Ted was the epitome of a Naval Officer and leader: professional, tough, disciplined, and fair…but always fun to be around when the occasion allowed. He was a superb mentor of three generations of EOD technicians and the example followed by many future EOD officers. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
John Shick, Captain, USN (Ret)
Dear Nancy — Our condolences for your loss with Ted’s passing. It is most admirable how you cared for Ted in his last days, months, and years of a debilitating decease. You were lucky to have each other in a beautiful loving marriage.
Ted and I were deployed to Vietnam before his EOD days. Ted was young in 1963, but already in his early Naval career, he exemplified great leadership qualities. Because he was very intelligent and a high-energy person, it was no wonder that he went on to such an outstanding Naval career serving his country for the greater good and for all of us. Thanks Ted for your many years of dedicated service to our United States. I salute you.
Ltjg James H. Abing, OIC STAT 0302
We are saddened to hear of Ted’s passing. We enjoyed visiting with you at DeFever Cruisers events. Our prayers are with you at this time.
Nancy,
We were saddened to hear of Ted’s passing. We have fond memories of cruises that we attended with you. Ted just to be a boating “genius” to us and we so admired your zest for life!
May God hold you tightly to comfort you doing this time of loss and bring many happy memories to your mind of your time together this side of heaven.
Chuck and Sue Bartlett
Nancy,
So sorry to hear of your husband Ted’s passing. Your travels with him that you posted on Facebook seemed so wonderful and will hopefully bring you many smiles and precious memories through the years. May your heart be filled with comfort and peace. God bless you!
Eileen (Synowiec) Daniels
Nancy, Mike and family,
Please accept my deepest sympathy. Ted was my first CO and has always been a great leader and mentor to me and hundreds of other EOD technicians and Naval Officers. I was so blessed to have served under his command. He was demanding but fair and I personally know how truly good he was for the Navy EOD community. We are all saddened by your loss. Rest In Peace Commodore, My Greatest Respect, Ron Zitzman
Nancy,
I’m so sorry for your lost. Remember all the good times.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers
Nancy,
I’m so sorry to hear of your husbands passing. May God bless you and your family.
Marcy (Ripple) Chaney
Dear Captain McCarley’s Family & Friends,
First, let me apologize but a friend just sent this to me.
I am so sorry for your loss. I met Captain McCarley in the mid 90’s @ the EOD Technology Division as our Commanding Officer (CO). You see, our office had a grievance based on age discrimination however until our CO learned of this, it seemed it was to be a struggle. Capt McCarley did his research, interviewed several involved & felt that “where there was smoke, there was fire!”. He scheduled a meeting w/ALL employees except our supervisor and explained how we could not move forward until a resolution was achieved. Captain McCarley made the decision to remove our supervisor from ALL his responsibilities, thereby setting a clear vision for office wellness! We had endured tyranny for 7+ yrs but thanks to our CO, tyranny ended! Without your husband, father & friend who knows what would have happened. I’m retired 17 yrs now, but my CO continues being remembered for standing up for a small group of senior employees & making the right decision. I will always recall my CO fondly. Each of you have my Sincerest Sympathies ~ May God bless & comfort you
Dee – Wow! thanks for sharing that story. That sounds like Ted all the way around!
Nancy
Captain McCarley was one of the best commanders I got to work with and for. He was fair, he was dedicated, and a true professional. I knew him at the EOD Tech Center. He would come around the office after quitting time when a few of us were still around just to say Hi and see how things were going. He loved EOD. I miss him.
LtCol Alton Jones (USAF Ret)
Thank you so much LtCol Jones – thank you for your kind words. Ted loved the Navy and he loved EOD. He would have stayed in forever if he could. It was 2 months yesterday and I still can’t believe he is gone.
Nancy as you know Ted and I were friend’s from his early day, we served togather in MCB#3, while the Battalion was on Guam and as Team Mates on the second STAT Team to be sent to Vietnam. It was while we were in country that Ted decided to move on and move up. Could not have had a better friend, I still recall some of the stuff we did. He leaves a deep hole that cannot be filled in my heart. May he rest in peace and may god give you the grace to move forward.